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Here are the best list of reasons we have found on the internet why the Yankees suck.
50 Reasons why the Yankees Suck
10 Reasons why the Yankees Suck
Another 10 Reasons why the Yankees Suck
10 Rules For Being A Yankee Fan/The reasons to Hate Them
10 More Reasons to hate the Yankees
Favorite Yankees
1. George Steinbrenner owns the team. This is a man with the warmth of Pat Buchanan, the patience of Ross Perot, and the credibility of O.J. Simpson.
2. The Yankees honored a truant, Jeffrey Maier, whose interference transformed an out into a series-turning Yankee home run in the 1996 playoffs.
3. Yankee hype resulted in Joe Gordon winning the 1942 MVP award over Triple Crown winner Ted Williams. The "Splendid Splinter" led the American League in six offensive categories; Gordon led in one, most strikeouts.
4. Joe DiMaggio's 56-game hitting streak in 1941 is considered the record in baseball. Why is excellence over two months better than excellence over a season? (DiMaggio had 193 hits that season, sixty-four short of George Sisler's major league record.)
5. They make you envious. Their General Manager is thirty-three years old. Derek Jeter dated Mariah Carey. Joe Torre has spent forty years in baseball. Steinbrenner did not have to go to jail following his felony conviction.
6. The Yankees retired Reggie Jackson's and Billy Martin's numbers. These two played a combined twelve seasons for the Yankees and hit .261.
7. Yankee fans are impossible to like. More than three decades ago, Roger Angell described them as "overdressed, uncomprehending autumn arrivistes." Today we would describe them as front-running boors.
8. Bucky Bleeping Dent, Red Sox killer and ersatz Yankee manager. In the worst-ever made-for-television movie, Dent played a football player who fell in love with a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader.
9. Their dynasty began because the Red Sox owner, Harry Bleeping Frazee, needed money to finance his theatrical ventures. We are not talking about hard work by the Yankees; this was Dumb Luck I.
10. Just before the end of the 1920 season, the Chicago White Sox were a better team with a brighter future than the Yankees. By the end of that season, the Sox were a shell of a great team. Eight of their stars were on their way to lifetime bans as a result of throwing the 1919 World Series. This was Dumb Luck II in establishing the Yankee dynasty.
11. After Mel Allen (whom the Yankees fired), their best known broadcaster is Phil "Holy Cow" Rizzuto. His biases would have earned him the nickname "Homer" but for the fact he hit only thirty-eight four-baggers during his thirteen-year major league career.
12. Role models like convicted felons Darryl Strawberry and Steve Howe have played for the Yankees.
13. As a Yankee, Don Zimmer has evolved from "the Gerbil" to a Grand Old Man.
14. The Yankees are living in the past. They have won five World Series since 1962. Over the same period, the Montreal Canadiens have won twelve titles, and the Boston Celtics have won eleven.
15. The Reggie! Bar was as hard to stomach as its namesake.
16. Steinbrenner, who was banned from baseball for life, got reinstated after three years. We hope whoever made this decision never gets on the Unabomber's parole board.
17. Yankee hype resulted in Joe DiMaggio winning the 1947 MVP award over Triple Crown winner Ted Williams.
18. Roger Maris, who had three great seasons, had his number retired. Are the Reds going to retire George Foster's number?
19. Yankee reliever Sparky Lyle wrote The Bronx Zoo, a 300-page whine about how tough life is when you're earning a large salary for pitching for a World Series winner.
20. Yankee tragedies are supposed to consume the nation. After Thurman "I won seven fewer Gold Gloves than Johnny Bench" Munson's plane went down, the Yankee faithful wanted the waiting period for Munson's Hall of Fame election waived. Tony Conigliaro, whose life was more tragic than Munson's, and who hit more home runs in far fewer at bats than Munson did, is forgotten outside of Boston.
21. Two words: Jim Leyritz
22. After the 1976 Yankees won the franchise's first pennant in twelve years, they were swept by the Reds in the World Series. Steinbrenner complained of how this loss to the greatest team since the end of World War II was a "personal humiliation."
23. The Kansas City A's were effectively a Yankee farm club. (Would you believe they sent Roger Maris to the Yankees for four spare parts?)
24. The Babe Ruth Story might be the worst sports movie ever made.
25. Howard Cosell rhapsodized about Mickey "the CAT-a-lyst" Rivers, Reg-GER-oo, and Chris "the Silent One" Chambliss when the Yankees were on Monday Night Baseball in the 1970's.
26. ABC called it Monday Night Baseball, but in practice it was The Yankee Game of the Week.
27. Above-average feats by ordinary Yankees make magazine covers.
28. Thanks to Yankee fans, Chris Chambliss's trip around the bases after his 1976 pennant-winning home run was more of an adventure than getting out of Saigon.
29. Steinbrenner, who has the Mona Lisa of ballparks, has demanded that New York City build him a paint-by-the-numbers stadium with luxury boxes.
30. Larry McPhail, the Steinbrenner of his time, made it impossible for Hall of Famers Joe McCarthy and Bill Dickey to manage the Yankees.
31. Steinbrenner and five-time Yankee manager Billy Martin made up and broke up more frequently than temperamental high school sweethearts.
32. A Yankee fan's contribution to baseball chat rooms is limited to "Red Sox suck" and "1918."
33. The Yankees exiled their greatest legend, Babe Ruth, to the 38-115 Boston Braves. They let stars like Frank Colman and Roy Weatherly wear Ruth's #3 before retiring it.
34. Yankee co-owner Del "Mr. Baseball" Webb
35. Yankee General Manager George "Chuckles" Weiss
36. Yankee backup catcher Charlie Silvera played in 227 major league games and one World Series game. Somehow, he was on six World Series winners, while Ty Cobb was on none.
37. Bill Mazeroski got the key hit in three Pirate wins, hit the World Series-winning home run, batted .320 and watched Yankee Bobby Richardson get named the MVP of the 1960 World Series.
38. Either the Yankees of the 1960's were a cliquish gang who slammed windows on kids wanting autographs as described in Jim Bouton's Ball Four, or...
39. Bouton is a liar, in which case the Yankees issued a paycheck to a big-mouthed malcontent who had a 4-15 record in 1965.
40. Joe DiMaggio was voted baseball's "Greatest Living Player" largely because that noted baseball expert, Paul Simon, wrote a line in "Mrs. Robinson" about him.
41. Free enterprise is free enterprise, but there is something terribly wrong when Luis Tiant is pictured in a Yankee uniform, holding a hot dog and saying "It is great to be with a winner." I blame the Yankees.
42. Wally Pipp could not play with a headache.
43. In the 1930's and 1940's, the Yankees would not allow radio broadcasts of their games.
44. You had to cheer for someone in the Billy Martin-Ed Whitson fight.
45. Shane Spencer had a few great weeks and the New York media compared the start of his career to those of various Hall of Famers. Earth to Spencer fans: baseball is a game of streaks. Hurricane Hazle, after a six-game major league career with the Reds, hit .403 in forty-one games for the '57 Braves. Within a year the twenty-eight-year-old was gone from the major leagues.
46. No matter how often I remind myself that he has a family and probably visits sick kids in hospitals, I cannot like Tino Martinez.
47. The Yankees have helped cause the exorbitant salaries in baseball. Bernie Williams makes over $12 million a year. What does this make Chipper Jones or Alex Rodriguez worth? Can I buy a ticket on the installment plan?
48. Ron Blomberg was baseball's first designated hitter. There is something preternatural about a Yankee holding the distinction of introducing an odious concept.
49. Jerry Coleman, whose malapropisms ("Folkers is throwing up in the bullpen") as a Padres announcer are legendary, is a former Yankee.
50. Hillary Clinton, who knows less about baseball than she knows about the upstate New York town of Glens Falls, claims to be a lifelong Yankee fan.
Aquired from: http://yankeehater.com
10. Roger Clemens plays for them and Bucky !@%^$* Dent played for them.
9. They're a drug rehab center! (Strawberry, Steve Howe, Pascuel Perez, etc.)
8. The Yankees spent $92 Million (12 million more than anyone else!) to buy the World Series in '99.
7. After they lost the '76 World Series , the Yankees voted their batboys $100 shares. Their opponents, the Reds, gave theirs $6591 each.
6. In the spring after their '96 championship, the Yankees charged fans to have their pictures taken with the World Series trophy.
5. According to the Barnhardt Dictionary of Etymology the word Yankee was a term of contempt. Isn't that great? The Yankees named themselves after an insult! It's like calling a team the Atlanta Rednecks or the L.A. Cokeheads! Iron that on you wife-beater.
4. After Yankee home games, fans hang around and sing to the Sinatra song, "New York, New York" over and over until you pray the ghost of Sinatra himself will appear on DiamondVision screaming, "STOP!"
3. After every nauseating, soul-sucking Yankees victory, radio guy John Sterling bellows, "Yankees Win! Tha-a-a-a Yankees Win!" like a goat stuck on an electric fence. Hey John, Give it a-a-a-a rest!
2. Rooting for the Yankees is like rooting for Brad Pitt to get the girl or for Bill Gates to win the lotto. That's why I propose that those not born in 1 of the 5 New York boroughs must lose their pinstripes or be tossed into the East River with only Chuck Knoblauch to throw them a life preserver.
1. Hating the Yankees is a U.S tradition that's been honored throughout the century. Remember, no one ever wrote a play called "Damn Expos!"
Aquired from: http://gobosox00.tripod.com/Yankees-suck/index.html
10. They are fairies.
9. They are horrible.
8. They aren't exciting when they play.
7. They are from New York.
6. They are worse than the Phillies.
5. They have no talent.
4. Jeter is a prettyboy.
3. Wells got lucky with that perfect game. ( He is a drunk)
2. Darryl Strawberry is a drunken crackhead.
And the number 1 reason is:
They suck! And that's the bottom line because I said so!!!!!
Aquired from: http://members.tripod.com/~Hat_3/ynks.htm
1. It's important to point out past post-season success as often as possible. However, if anyone points out anything in the past that doesn't reflect positively on the Yankees, then argue that it happened in the past and doesn't matter now. For example, it is okay to point out that the Yankees beat the Mariners in the 2000 ALCS. However, if anyone points out that the Mariners beat the Yankees in the 1995 ALDs, then argue that it happened in the past and doesn't matter.
2. Nothing in the regular season matters, unless it's favorable to the Yankees. For example, Roger Clemens is 16-1 this year, and has dominated. However, if anyone points out that the Mariners have beaten Clemens twice this year, respond by saying, "Regular Season doesn't mean crap". Regular Season wins and losses are especially irrelevant, unless you are the 1998 Yankees.
3. Statistics are for losers. Whenever someone posts a statistic that you find confusing, quickly point out that the Yankees have won 4 out of the last 5 World Series.
4. If anyone accuses the Yankees of "buying" their championships, argue that Jeter, B Williams, Pettitte, Soriano, Rivera, and Posada are all home-grown talent. Then, hope that nobody notices that this represents only 6 out of 25 players, and hope they don't bring up Clemens, Mussina, Hitchcock, Witasik, Wohlers, Stanton, Martinez, Sojo, Knoblauch, O'Neill, Brosius, Justice, Lilly and more. Also hope they don't mention the fact that Gerald Williams was recently acquired but never plays, much like Jose Canseco last year.
5. Whenever you argue with a Red Sox fan, always bring up 1918. This will infuriate them and while they type a response, you can point out that the Yankees have won 4 out of the last 5 championships. See Rule #1
6. Statistics and records are never as important as name recognition. Statistics should always be dismissed unless they are favorable to the Yankees. For example, Clemens is 16-1. That's a good statistic. Mussina is 12-10, but that doesn't matter because . Well-known names are always better than any statistic. If anyone argues with that, see Rule #2.
7. Defend Derek Jeter and Roger Clemens at all costs. Resort to name calling and threats of violence if necessary.
8. All other fans of all other teams are bandwagon fans. Nobody has a more loyal, more dedicated following than the Yankees. If a team is hot, or is playing well, call that team's fans bandwagoners. Then point out how many championships the Yankees have won. See Rule #1.
9. The Yankees are the Defending World Champions until baseball adopts a policy forbidding them to play in the post-season. Such a policy will never exist, because George Steinbrenner vehemently opposes anything that doesn't directly contribute to the success of the Yankees, so therefore, the Yankees will forever be the Defending World Champions. If another teams wins the championship, then it was because of . Refer to Rule #1.
10. The following traits should be avoided at all times: logic, humility, reason, and class. You are the World Champions. You should act like it and point it out at all times. See Rule #1.
-Aquired from an anonymous Mariners fan
The Yankees suck. It's three o'clock in the morning in the tri-state area, and I can't sleep. I feel a need
to vent. I hate the Yankees. I hate them so much it hurts inside to think about how much I hate them. Is
that weird? Does it make me odd? If I watched some homeless guy
walk into my house from off the
street and beat the sh*t out of my grandmother...
I'd hate him less than I hate Jorge
Posada. And I think that might mean that I have a
problem.
That said ... for all of you fair weather Yankee fans
sitting at home and gloating over your victory, I'd
like you to really, truly think about why you like
these Yankees. Moreover, I'd like you think about why
you should hate them. Here, I'll help you out:
1) Derek Jeter. Is this
guy really that good looking?
I don't get it. Perhaps I'm jealous, or perhaps I'm
letting my hatred of his team blind me, but I really
think I'm being objective when I say that this guy
looks like a f*cking alien. Tino Martinez? Not a bad
looking dude. Paul O'Neill? Handsome, I'd say, in a
rugged, alcoholic Irish sense. But Jeter? I mean,
c'mon. If the guy wasn't
a baseball player and he was
hanging out in some sh*tty a$$ under-17 club in
Rockland County, not one girl in the bar would turn
her head unless they thought someone was filming
Cocoon 3.
2) Joe Torre. Yeah we get it. You're a nice guy. A
good manager. You cry when your team wins. But who the
fu#k picks their nose this much? My mom says it's
unfair to have a camera on you in the dugout when you
don't know
people are watching. Agreed. Yet, you could have a
camera on me 24 hours a day and
maybe you catch me picking a boog three
times. This
guy does it six times every half hour. Buy yourself a
kleenex you ugly creep. He looks like
someone who might molest my little
cousin on
Halloween. People who look like him are
the reason my mom used to go through
my Halloween
candy to make sure there were no razor blades.
3) Luis Sojo. Yeah, this
guy's awesome. He looks like
he should be a busboy at the Burrito Loco. If this guy
eats one more chalupa he's gonna f*cking explode.
4) Jose Vizcaino. He
should be working with Luis Sojo.
Nice glasses dipsh%t.
5) Roger Clemens. This guy's a piece of work. They
say
he's not a "real Yankee." That the rest of the Yankees
shouldn't be judged by his idiotic
personality/behavior/mentality. Bull
* . He's the
prototypical Yankee. A mercenary superstar who only
cares about money and acts like a total
a$$hole. He should be the new Yankees
logo. Get rid of
the "NY" symbol. Just a giant picture of Clemens
throwing shattered bats at players and hitting them in
the heads with 100 mile an hour baseballs. And Kissing
Babe Ruth's monument
before the game? F- you Clemens. I hope the monument
has herpes.
6) Bernie Williams. Here's a pretty guy. Not only did
he fall off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the
way down, but then he hit the ground and got really
disfigured. And to compensate for his looks, he's got
the most
outgoing personality this side of Adam Hirschberg.
This is a guy you can really get
behind and root for.
7) Andy Pettite.
Kind of like him actually. Still a
homo.
8) El Duque. Oh don't even get me started here. The
Cuban refugee. What a story! For the rest of the year,
every night before I go to bed, I promise to fall to
my knees and pray to God that this guy gets deported
and spends the
rest of his days rotting away in a Cuban jail cell
decorated only with posters of Fidel Castro and
cigars. And what kind of name is El Duque? I'd like to
make a big Duque in his mouth-ue.
9) Mariano Rivera. Hate this guy as much
as any of the
others. Maybe he should try eating something. This
dude spits and loses six pounds. I heard someone
poured champagne on him after they won and he slid
down a sewer
drain and drowned.
10) Yankee fans. Without bias, I find
you all to be
the most insuferable, fair weather, ignorant fans in
the world. Know this: no matter how many championships
you win, you have a BORING, UNLIKABLE, UN-EXCITING
TEAM. If I was
a Yankee fan myself I would find it hard to root for
them. May they all rot in hell.
Aquired From Twiga 14 - A Mets fan
My favorite Yankees
Chuck Knoblauch : I love this guy. When I watch the Red Sox play, the only chance I have to get a ball is a foul or (more likely) a home run. With Knoblauch, I just sit in the 3rd deck and wait for him to field a grounder. 2 seconds later- BAM souvenir.
El Duque : It doesn't matter how old this 25 year old (going on 35) is. I just love how he can consistantly knee himself in the face, but still stay around long enough to get knocked out of the game by the hitters.
Scott Brocious : A real winner here. One of the only baseball players there is with an age higher than his batting average.
Andy Pettite : 2 words. Boo Hoo. Forget a rosin bag this guy needs kleenex out on the mound.
Dave Justice : The team's tough guy. Percival beans him on purpose because he's a little bittch. In order to prove he's not a little bittch, he charges the mound, realizes half way there he's in for the beating of a lifetime, and decides to THROW HIS FREAKING HELMET. Whats next? Charge the mound, flip the guy's hat off, and pull his hair?
Don Zimmer : Gets paid to sit next to Scott Brocious so Scotty doesn't look so old.
Joe Torre : This guy holds the secret to my getting in Yankee Stadium free. I let a friend beat me in the face with a bat for a few seconds errrrr minutes, put on a uni, and no questions asked. I'm a mirror image.
Mariano Rivera : Cool name on this guy. But I like him better under his other name- Yoda. I swear I've never seen a pitcher slap a runner on first base just by moving his head.
Yes, these talented players and coaches could all get the top spot for my favorite Yankee. But the winner is..........
Paul O'neil : You've got to respect a guy who can break his bat on a pitch, reach into his ass, and pull an even bigger bat out to hit with.
Thanks to Brian Amaral at SoxRock.Com
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