New York Yankees Suck, They Always Have... They Always Will

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July 26, 2002
Scott Gleason
Yanks-Suck.Com

So, it’s a tough life for your faithful Yankee hater

So, your faithful Yankee hater has to make a confession. I make this confession because I'm an Irish Catholic, which I was telling my Jewish friend yesterday was basically "jew-lite" in that we're all about guilt, but we're just not as good at it. We're in the minor leagues in that department. Well, anyway, my confession is this: For about the last 18 months I've been dating a girl that lives in Manhattan. You read that correctly. I have a loathsome taste in my mouth for all things Yankee blue, and yet have to make the trek into their city that never sleeps with regularity. About twice a month, I regret to say, I have to turn on WFAN on the way into the city and listen to people with thick uneducated accents wax poetic about the exploits of a team whose payroll is ludicrous in comparison to any other. My only respite comes when one of the show hosts is a Mets fan and turns his own sense of envy against the pinstripes, and if you're hoping to hear a Mets fan, it's got to be pretty bad.

So, this weekend was a weekend like many others. I hopped on the good ole entertainment tours bus ($20 for a one-way trip, which is pretty nice) and hoofed it down to the big apple. Now, I promise you, I hate the Yankees as much as any of you, but I have to admit having a thing for New York City. Boston is the ultimate city in it's charm and beauty (no ride down the Hudson river parkway is ever going to rival a ride along the Charles), but New York has a lot more to do, and the men are just downright ugly or gay, so you've got lots of female options, of which I'm not allowed to explore. The thing that separated this weekend from many others, though, was that the Red Sox were in town.

Now, I've listened to many New Yorkers say that the rivalry is one-sided. They say they think of us as just another team. They say that they don't pay attention to the Red Sox and the fact that we get so riled up is ludicrous. The fact that we chant Yankees Suck on games that aren't even being played against New York is just downright crazy. Well, I'm here to tell you that it's not true. I'm in New York for games against Baltimore, Seattle, Minnesota, you name it, and the atmosphere is different from when Boston is in town. The city was electric during this series. The games were sold out well in advance, and we're not talking about selling out the cushy little 34K that we've got at Fenway, these guys are selling out seventy thousand seats. Not only that, but every bar that I went to, and, again, since I'm Irish, this number is pretty high, had the Yes Network on and all eyes glued to the game.

My bus ride down was supposed to see me listening to Game One, but due to a two-hour rain delay, the game didn't start until I was already in New York. The outcome, however, was favorable, as the home team took that one in nine 4-2. Saturday morning I was as happy as could be and looking forward to two more games of bliss. That day we went out to brunch with a couple of my girlfriend's friends, one of which is your typical Yankee fan: Bandwagon. Oh you're a big fan, huh? When did that start following the team? Oh, during college? And that was about six years ago, right?

Anyway, the sox are down quick on Saturday and I'm listening to this rhetoric about how they're a better run franchise and how the players care more and blah, blah, blah. In one ear and out the other is where that talk goes. The sox start to come back and in the eighth inning the Yanks bring in Mariano Rivera, and I look across the bar and say in a booming voice, "they're afraid." The bandwagon asks me what I mean by this, and I respond, "you don't bring your closer in at the beginning of the eighth inning, and certainly not when he's been overworked lately and started to falter a little. This move STINKS of fear." A couple of dirty looks and a couple of mutterings let me know that everyone agreed with me and they watched in horror as their closer was ineffective and left the mound in obvious discomfort.

That moment was the highlight of my weekend. At that particular time I had found a Red Sox fan in the bar and we were both excited. I was thinking about a possible sweep. I was already starting to rub the bandwagon girl's nose in it. Ah, the simple bliss of that moment, and who would have known that things would turn around so quickly. Thankfully, as a lifelong Red Sox fan, and having been 15 in 1986, I don't allow myself to get too high at any point during a Red Sox game before the last pitch. You know the feeling all too well, I'm sure, if you're a Boston Yankee hater. And on this weekend, I was happy on two separate occasions that I hadn't allowed myself to count the proverbial chickens.

Twice the hated Yankees came back to beat my beloved Red Sox, and twice I had to hear the screams and hoorays of the bridge-and-tunnel, uneducated nit wits that root for these chumps. My weekend wasn't all good, but when in New York, they never are.

Scott Gleason, a former writer for RotoWire.com, shows his hatred of the New York Yankees through song with the band BenderX. Download their aptly titled song Yankees Suck.